You Will Leave Me by Tula Turanská

03/02/2012 23:02

You will leave me!

                     No I won’t

Yes you will!

                       Why should I? I love you!

Because I am not pretty enough!

                           You are beautiful!

I am not good enough, not interesting enough... There are plenty of other more exciting women!

                                 You are the only one in my heart!

You liar!

                                        I cannot stand this…

You see? I told you! You will leave me! I knew it, I knew it!


Two souls handcuffed together, in terrible pain they shout

One cannot leave the other, but cannot find a way out…

Dependence, obsession, love, passion, devotion, possessed by each other in fever we act all the time.

Weak to tear the chains

Wrecking our brains

Too weak in poor conditions our hearts are forced in

We’d rather let our love and sparks die


Who is to be blamed? The one who fears and loses because of the fear?

Or the one who could not hold on to it any longer, the one who did not stand long enough in the shower of accusations? Wasn’t he really strong enough to hold the wall? Or is it too much a bravery to ask something like that of him?

Are we just misfits not able to rule our own lives? Are we really so weak, not being able to stand up for ourselves? Are we willing to give up all eternity only to gain some fake justification? Giving up our true selves, only to come out smelling of roses.

I’ve noticed this martyr-like behaviour not only in myself, to be honest. To live in fear is to be dying a life. Living in fear of losing the other person who we supposedly love is insane and it can actually become the ultimate cause of the eventual loss.

To be dependent is to lock and be locked in a castle, willingly doom ourselves to a heartless cruel end of our dreams. I believe it is not easy at all to let go and to secure a free environment for those we love. Insecurity is a thing that casts shadows over us and suppresses the vigour of the powerful and exciting stream of energy. But people prefer to go lame and avoid all responsibility that lies ahead of them. They prefer to close their eyes, go mute and become a sponge, a simple leech which no more accepts its independence and strength to create and become an individual. We have twisted the meaning of the word ‘love’ into a terribly sick addiction.

I need you.

                                          No you don’t

I am too weak

                                 No you are not

Give me some strength; give me a crutch I could be supported by

                           You can go on your own. Don’t be afraid to speak. You still can rise.

I feel like there would be a leak

In us, in me, in you

                       That is not true

You must give me some support or I’ll fall! You are killing me by not doing anything!

                    You can do it on your own, just try, please try!

I cannot see you! How could you leave me? I knew it, I knew it! You-Marcus the Cruel

                            I cannot stand this, my love. Goodbye, farewell, we died.

Illustrated by Tula Turanská


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