Barely Political by Princess Awesome

11/03/2012 18:06

Picture: politicalhumor.about.com

They don’t call me Awesome for no reason. I once again made half of Portland stand at attention. This time it was because of the Project Cupcakes. I’ve already mentioned my friend Tangerine who runs RevolutionTruth.org, right? Well, my dear friend got sick and since the American health care system is even crappier than ours, I decided to take action. I knew I couldn’t get to the west coast right away, but I wanted to make her at least a bit happier. But the question was: How? What would make her happy? World peace was a little too much. Maybe flowers… But flowers are so impersonal. A cake!! And so the hunt for a cake began. I googled and found four bakeries that also deliver. And they also make cupcakes, which is even a cuter idea! But I still couldn’t place an order online. So I sent them e-mails asking how I could get some cupcakes delivered to my friend. One bakery replied: I can place an order via e-mail and they will deliver it. Awesome! But they didn’t answer my question how I could pay for the cupcakes, since they don’t do paypal.

 

So, meanwhile, I alerted other people I know in Portland. I asked them whether they could get there and place the order for me. Finally my co-revolutionary Orion offered his help. And so the Project Cupcakes was up and running! A dozen of tiny cupcakes will be delivered to my friend Tangerine in less than 12 hours! So to recapitulate – a chick from Slovakia alerted four bakeries and half of the city of Portland just to get a few tiny cupcakes to a dear friend. See? Anything is possible if there’s a will.

 

I’m enjoying these last few moments before the new government will take action as well. They’re definitely not as awesome as I am, but in a way it’s good. The world might not take as much awesomeness. So brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, or shall I say – comrades? As my mom always says, this nation deserves itself. I don’t want to get much political here, but I think it’s inevitable. I laughed last night and I laughed this morning as well when I saw all those comments on Facebook and other social networks: “What the voters are expecting from Fico would be impossible even if we had the budget of Norway.” Well, then call Breivik to the parliament, I say. That might help… Wait, what? Too soon?  

But seriously, try to find positives in this. Me, for example. I’m happy I speak Russian. If the Russian language became compulsory at schools again, I’d at least have a job!

 

Speaking of Russia, their presidential elections took place the previous weekend. A lot of Russians think the elections were fixed. I don’t know why we say “fix the elections” – that implies that an honest election is broken. It’s the same thing as when you’re “fixing” your pets. Their genitals worked just fine before you “repaired” them! Oh, but the fixing of the Russian elections has been going on forever. I believe it was the lovable Russian dictator, old Uncle Jo Stalin who said, “It’s not who votes that counts, it’s who counts the votes.”

But back to Putin – he was President, then he was President again, then he was Prime Minister for a couple of years and now he is back in President’s chair again. He’s been back and forth so many times that he is like Bill Clinton bouncing between a buffet and a pole in a strip club.

 

The aftermath of the Russian elections makes you kinda think about the process of electing the American president. I would say our own Slovak president, but that’s just boring. Anyway, the Americans know that when they cast their votes, in a few months they will be counted wrongly and in the end the country will have a new American Idol.

 

So, in the end, nothing really matters because when it comes to us, ordinary people, there is not much we can do about it. Sure, we can fight for a change and we do. So I say this: Don’t give up, just get used to it.

 

Princess Awesome

 

Comments

Date: 12/03/2012

By: Abigor

Subject: lol

youre pretty late with the butthurt comments but cool!

Date: 12/03/2012

By: Zemplin

Subject: Abigor

Abigor definitely needs to google the words "how to get laid"... What a loser.

Date: 12/03/2012

By: zdravý rozum

Subject: :)

Banda závistlivcov, čo by podobnú vec nedokázali napísať a vybíjajú si tu svoje frustrácie dosť nevyberaným spôsobom. Ja len dúfam, že nie ste študenti na vysokej škole. A ak ste, tak vás nechcem stretnúť. A vôbec, keď ste tak nekonečne múdri a sami viete všetko najlepšie, prečo sa skrývate a nevyjavíte nám všetkým svoju identitu? Vôbec neočakávam, že dostanem na túto otázku slušnú odpoveď, hoci by ste si poopravili už aj tak veľmi poškodené anonymné meno. Tak nech vás Boh požehná, vy, čo sa správate ako nepriatelia, hoci na to nemáte žiadny racionálny dôvod.

Date: 12/03/2012

By: L.O.

Subject: column

A column can have no other purpose than to be funny and entertain the audience.
-- If you like it or not, there are people who find the Princess Awesome column entertaining.
A column can be quite personal. The writer can share stories, insights, opinions. As a result, it can read like a letter.
-- It does.
A column should have a consistent style. The writer should speak to the reader in a consistent manner, using similar language, phrasing and vocabulary.
-- She does.

Of course, there are much more sophisticated columns than these, but I don't think comments like "I had to resist the urge to vomit" are appropriate. They don't facilitate improvement but provoke a backlash. Criticism is an art that can make or break a writer's morale. It's an art you should learn to master - especially if you're a teacher trainee.

You're right that the column would read better if it was built up around a central idea, but as I said, this seems to be a possible approach to the genre too.

Date: 12/03/2012

By: Abigor

Subject: Re: column

fair enough, i dont think this is all that funny tho and the writer fails to actually say something (like, ive read this article 3 times and remember nothing). but if that wasnt the point of this work then yea i guess this is passable

Date: 12/03/2012

By: L.O.

Subject: Re: Re: column

I think there is a point to what the writer is saying, but it's true that the point would become more apparent if there was more focus. Princess Awesome seems to be like that. But this constructive criticism may help her write one day in a way that would be more acceptable to you.

Date: 12/03/2012

By: Abigor

Subject: sjkgjgnsognsb

lol yea how typical. if something is poorly written lets just ignore it!

i give credit where credit is due, this is not the case

Date: 12/03/2012

By: Abigor

Subject: u

yea ok i think theres this thing called google u should totally check it out

"A regular feature or series of articles in a newspaper, magazine, or the like, usually having a readily identifiable heading and the byline of the writer or editor, that reports or comments upon a particular field of interest, as politics, theater or etiquette, or which may contain letters from readers, answers to readers' queries, etc"

this article has no structure, clear, unifying idea, and it doesnt really say anything

Date: 11/03/2012

By: Abigor

Subject: princess awsum

this is the 4th time i had to read your ’article’ and resist the urge to vomit

did u misunderstand the concept of a column or are u just a consistently awful writer

Date: 11/03/2012

By: sonia

Subject: Re: princess awsum

Abigor: I can´t imagine an apter comment!

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