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A Looong Journey on a Bus
Travelling by bus is still a very common means of transport. Mostly for short distances. But bus travel being relatively cheap, many people also choose it for travelling to seaside holidays. This can take a great deal of time. A really great deal of time. And it can be quite annoying.
So what can you expect when you choose to travel by bus? I can tell you from my own experience and maybe help you to prepare yourself for such a travel. Last summer I went to Bulgaria by bus so I know what it is all about. I was crammed into a seat with no way to straighten my legs. But I was going on holiday, I was looking forward to it, so I got used to the conditions. If only my neighbour wasn’t complaining how bad he felt all the time. What’s wrong with you people??? We’re in the same bus, we’re suffering too. Stop complaining!!! Of course, I put up with the bad conditions, I put up with the constantly complaining neighbour and what was next?
I finally fell asleep (after many unsuccessful attempts), but after a very short time I was suddenly awoken by a dreadful jolt. I looked out the window to check the situation and see no traffic in the opposite lane...because our driver was driving in it! Da fuq?! Is he trying to kill us all or what?! He’s driving like a maniac! I prayed I wouldn’t be in the news the next day. Is he really overtaking the other buses that are in front of us? Yes, he was. OK, never mind. I tried to fall asleep again. No big deal.
In the morning, I faced a tough decision. Was there anything I could possibly be interested in that could save me from the harshness of the journey besides trying not to fall into a coma? I tried reading. After a while, the letters started dancing before my eyes and, let’s be honest, the human brain doesn’t like dancing letters very much. They make one sick as hell. I had to constantly repeat to myself that vomiting was prohibited in buses. It helped.
Then I found a safer alternative. I was looking out of the window. Not really interesting, but, you know, I had nothing to do. So, there it is. Scenery. Landscape. Right by the side of the highway. Splendid. That wouldn’t be so bad, if the ’scenery’ consisted of something other than grass. And I am serious. Not the slightest change for hours on end. I couldn’t see the monumental silhouettes of the mountains on the horizon. No, not a single one. That country was as flat as a plate. A bloody plate! I wouldn’t be surprised if we came to the world’s end, where rivers flow over the edge. I’m not from a mountainous country; we have some hills, not very high, but they are everywhere. So a plate was a very disturbing view for me. And a very boring one, too.
So what could I do on a long journey, when I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t read, couldn’t talk with my neighbour, couldn’t watch TV because there was a stupid film on and couldn’t even look out the window? I used my creativity. I counted all the bald people. Then I tried all the buttons I was able to reach. I made acquaintance with the fly sitting on my hand. I was very careful not to kill it; it was my only friend at that moment. I ate something. Not too much, to avoid vomiting. I invented my own story. Pretended that I was Frodo going to Mordor and that I had to struggle through a harsh country, Gollum was the only being accompanying me, with the breath of death on my neck. I tried to be creative. I had nothing to lose.
So the next time anybody suggests, “Let’s travel by bus; it will be fun!” I know what my answer is going to be: Damn, are you kidding me? What about you? Do you know what yours will be?