Open Relationship by Zuzana Hlubinová

09/08/2010 15:02

Yesterday I saw an interesting expression on Facebook: to be in an open relationship with someone. I must confess I have no idea what an open relationship is. The next question: if a relationship can be open, is there a closed one as well? Let me talk to some of those psychological freaks, maybe they will know something more about it.

According to Mother Wikipedia, an open relationship is a ‘committed relationship in which either or both partners consent to the other partner being free to have emotional and/or physical relationships with others.’ OK. Let me think about it for a while and imagine how an open relationship works. A girl dates a guy. They get together, have fun, talk about everything, have sex, maybe they even decide to live together after a while. The only problem is that from time to time the guy has to see other girls in order not to get fed up with his own girlfriend. So one evening he gets dressed, puts some perfume on and tells his girl he is having a date. But nothing serious of course. Just dinner and then…one night of love. Basta. No problem, says the girl. I know you have your needs. Go out and enjoy yourself. Thanks, smiles the guy, I knew you would understand. He kisses her on her forehead and leaves. She stays at home, watches TV, trying hard not to think about her beloved in the arms of some… She falls asleep on the sofa, frowning at the world. In the morning he is there, preparing breakfast for both of them and the life continues as if nothing has ever happened. Until the next time he becomes restless.

Wow. So that’s it. That’s an open relationship. Pretending you have no relationship at all. You are free to do what you want. Date whoever you like, change your sexual partners as often as your “heart” wishes. Avoid stereotype. Why should you tie yourself to one person when there are so many interesting people who deserve to get to know you and get close to you? You have no responsibility towards the person you share your life with. This is the 21st century. Wake up. There are no traditional values. The world is upside down. BUT.

What we cannot pretend is to have no emotions anymore. Not that emotions play an important role in this society – even if you’re a member of emo community, let’s face it, it’s all about business – but we have them, even if sometimes they do a lot of damage. To love someone is something you cannot control. And to love someone truly, madly and deeply means that you are able to sacrifice anything for him. Love is about giving and receiving. But if you only give and receive nothing in return, something definitely sucks.

Someone very intelligent and educated said that love and jealousy go hand in hand and there is no way you can separate them. Let’s put all the nonsense about tolerance and trust aside. There is a piece of truth in those words. If I love someone I need him to be all mine and only the thought that he may share his affection, mind, body or even heart with someone else hurts me. And that’s not what a true relationship should be like. At least not the traditional one.

I came to a conclusion that an open relationship means: yes, we get on well, have good sex, have a lot in common but…we do not love each other so we do not feel the need to be faithful to each other. Because to be in a relationship means to have responsibility towards your partner and an open relationship (or promiscuity) is nothing but irresponsibility.

Zuzana Hlubinová

 

What do you think of open relationships?

Date: 25/11/2010

By: Gardner Ted

Subject: jealousy

When you are jealous you do not Love for real. Jealous-ness is a child love, not mature one (In my opinion).

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